New Free Champion Rotation (Season Three: Week 19) - STORYTIME

Dear Summoners,

Free champion rotation is by far the most boring post I do, so I usually try and spice it up a bit. Since I own all the champions I don't really feel any interest in talking about them since well...it doesn't make a difference to me.

Instead, this is going to be one of those random posts that I'd be embarrassed to share with my friends. It's 

STORYTIME

Once upon a time there was an anorexic looking redhead named Zyra. She used her magic powers to enslave innocent plants into becoming killing machines. Her favorite plant was named Audrey II that she bought on the cheap from some chump named Seymour. She probably would have gotten more boyz, but she smelled like fertilizer so she became bitter and angry. Even after she was killed by the noble gardener Fiora, she shot her in the back as revenge.

Luckily, Fiora was able to use her ultimate and avoid all the damage while simultaneously slashing poor Xin Zhao into tiny pieces before he could use his own ultimate to knock her back.

You see...he was busy staring at Ahri's chest, which was strangely proportioned considering her waistline. In his defense, Ahri may have landed her charm on him, causing Xin to lose all control of his body. Xin was a lonely man.

Elsewhere, Vayne was trying to finish off the legendary dragon Shyvana with the help of her monster from the shadow realm, Kassadin, the Void Walker. Jumping in behind Shyvana, Kassadin threw up his poisonous face acid all over Shyvana's back, causing the dragon to real back in fury. It was at this moment that  Vayne jumped forward and shot the dragon into a wall, pinning her there. You figure impaling a dragon on a wall would be able to kill it or at least make it bleed a little, but for some reason she had to shoot her two more times before she could do enough damage for Kassadin to stop laughing at his pathetic human master.

Unfortunately, dragons and forest nymphs share a common bond (being that they don't exist), and much to the chagrin of Vayne and Kassadin, right before the third and final blow from Vayne, Janna the legendary busybody from the forest decided to jump in. (nobody likes her).With her absurd amount of crowd control, she managed to save what was obviously someone else's kill for no particular reason and ran away giggling like some dumb Demacian.

Kassadin tried to give chase with his insane mobility by shifting through time and space, but then Shyvana released her digimon Rammusmon, who prompty smashed Kassadin in the face at warp speed, causing him to swing his netherblade stupidly around in circles, mostly hitting himself in the face.

Ashe watched all of this on the sidelines with her hawkshot, facepalming at every turn. Eventually she got sick of it all and shot her mystical frost arrow at the dragon to finally end their misery. 

Unfortunately it passed straight through because for some reason her arrow always seemed to glitch....shaking her head she facepalmed again and moaned, "why do I even bother..."

I think I'm going crazy...never deprive yourself of sleep, it's important.

Okay...this time for sure...

Did you enjoy story time? Should I never do that again? Comment below!